Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentines to me
truth be told I haven't been honest with you all. Me and my husband are separating. I am searching for a new home that will allow me to pursue my own hobbies and him his hobbies.
The separation is his idea. I hurt. I am angry. I want to scream. Life as I have known it for the past 13 years is going to change in a big way. We were finally financially stable. Our paychecks allowed to have the perks. My kitchen that I helped design was almost complete. I am looking at significantly older and smaller homes. Wish me luck I am putting in a bid for a house today. With anyluck I will be the winner and will be moving out of this house in 4 weeks. Sooner if I can.
I love him and I am going to make a new life for myself with out him. I am scared. Not of being alone but of sinking into the dark chasm of depression. I was diagnosed with it 5 years ago.
I need strength to work through this. This may be temporary or it might be forever. Who knows. I certainly didn't expect him wanting to separate when I woke up a month ago.
But for all those lucky people who still with their loved ones Happy Valentines.