Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines to me

a broken heart surrounded by heart candies with rejection sayings photo

truth be told I haven't been honest with you all. Me and my husband are separating. I am searching for a new home that will allow me to pursue my own hobbies and him his hobbies.
The separation is his idea. I hurt. I am angry. I want to scream. Life as I have known it for the past 13 years is going to change in a big way. We were finally financially stable. Our paychecks allowed to have the perks. My kitchen that I helped design was almost complete. I am looking at significantly older and smaller homes. Wish me luck I am putting in a bid for a house today. With anyluck I will be the winner and will be moving out of this house in 4 weeks. Sooner if I can.

I love him and I am going to make a new life for myself with out him. I am scared. Not of being alone but of sinking into the dark chasm of depression. I was diagnosed with it 5 years ago.

I need strength to work through this. This may be temporary or it might be forever. Who knows. I certainly didn't expect him wanting to separate when I woke up a month ago.

But for all those lucky people who still with their loved ones Happy Valentines.


swooze said...

Sorry to hear this. Things will work out for the best. THey always do. I will be thinking of you.

Louise said...

I am sorry, sometimes life is not very fair. Hang in there. My prayers are with you.

Deb said...

So sorry to hear this, thinking of you heaps and praying for a smooth outcome. Things will turn out for the best I am sure.

Sunna Reyr said...

Oh, I got a sting in my stomach when I read this. I'm always so sad when I hear of separations and divorces. In my mind I'm giving you a hug and lending you a hand to hold real tight. As we are going trough some bad times now, thankfully not a separation, we decided that dealing with it one day at a time would be best. That has often bin my way getting trough dark and muddy times.


I don't know how you feel, but I care about you and that you are hurting. I am so sorry!~!
Hang in there and keep positive! Tell yourself every day that you are special, God made you after all!
Come into chat any time we are here for you and if you need someone I am only a blog away!

Catherine said...

Oh, I am so sorry -- that has to be very hard and very hurtful!
Please keep posting.

Sweet P said...

I'm sorry to hear about your separation. I left my first husband 17 years ago (wow, has it been that long?). We were married for 10 years and had 2 children together. It was hard to be on my own at first. Eventually I grew to be comfortable in my own skin. And, when I wasn't looking, love found me.

If you ever want to talk, just send me an email. I'm always around.

gquilts said...

I know you don't know me, but I wanted to express my sorrow for you. I admire your hutzpah and attitude .. after 13 years that's a HUGE adjustment and you sound like you're moving forward in the right way

quilty HUGZ


Exuberant Color said...

I have been through that only it was 34 1/2 years and he wanted out. Remember to only look for the bright side of everything, think positive, be good to yourself and don't let the depression get you.

AverettLadyNana said...

I just read this, so sorry. My prayers go out to you to recover from your hurt. Your new house looks really nice. Throw yourself into your hobbies, making your new home truly yours...Hugs...Know your blog friends are out here for you! Can't wait to see your new house after you move in and how you are making it yours!

PS want to see pictures of your stash!!! I am sure it is to die for!!!